1. ** Sense pass sense **
An American lawyer and a Nigerian are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that Nigerians are so dumb that he can fool them easily..,....,. so the lawyer asks if the naija guy would like to play a fun game. The nigerian is tired and just wants to rest, so he politely declines and tries to catch some sleep. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun "I ask u a question and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only 5dollars; you ask me one and if I dont know the answer, I will pay u $500.
As naija no be dull guys naau, this catches the nigerian's attention and to keep d lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks d 1st question "what's the distance from earth to the moon?
The naija guy doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out 5dollars the hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the omo naija turn. He ask the lawyer, "what goes up a mountain with 3 legs and comes down with four?
The lawyer uses his laptop, searches the internet and even the Library of Congress. He sends emails to all his smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After 1 hour of futile searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the naija guy and hands him $500. The nigerian pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going crazy not knowing the answer.
So he wakes the naija guy up the asks, "well, so what goes up a mountain with 3 legs and comes down with four? The nigerian reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer 5dollars and goes back to sleep. lol!!! naija guys sha
2. Ofego was being discharged from a Mental Hospital after doctors thought he was finally back to normal. He was put in an ambulance to be taken back home. He claimed he knew the house so he led the doctors. They took him to where he claimed he lived.
Just as they approached a certain house, two kids, dressed in uniforms came out of the house. Ofego
screamed, "Those are my children going to school!"
A minute later, a woman came out of the same house and Ofego screamed, "That's my wife, she is late for work!" This time, the doctors were convinced Ofego was ok and took him out of the ambulance but was still in chains.
Just as they were about unlocking the chains, a man came out of the house and Ofego screamed, "YES! THAT'S ME GOING TO WORK!" lol
3. Mumuni, who was in a mental hospital was being reviewed for possible release.
When asked what he would do if released, he replied, "I am going to make a slingshot and come back here and break every damn window in the place."Obviously, his release was denied.
Six months later, the board was again considering his release and again asked him the same question. His reply was the same.
"I am going to make a sling shot and come back here and break every damn window in the place." Again, he was turned down.
Several months later he was complaining to a fellow patient that he could never seem to get released. The patients asked him what he said when they interviewed him, and Mumuni told him.
The patient said, "You will never get released with answers like that. You have to tell them what they want to hear. Let me give you some advice on how to answer them when they ask you questions."
So, after considerable coaching, Mumuni felt that he was ready.
So when the board met again, they again asked him what he would do if they let him out. But this time he was ready.
Mumuni said, "I am going to get a job, find an apartment and settle down."
"Good," they said, and then what?
He said, "I want to meet a nice girl and start dating." They agreed he was making real progress and asked, "And then what ?"
"One night when we are alone in my apartment, I am going to make passionate love to my girlfriend. I am going to take her dress off, and then take her bra off and lie her down on the bed."
"Yes," they said excitedly.
"Then I am going to gently remove her panties," he continued.
The board members were really getting excited now and asked, "Then what are you going to do ?"
He said, " I am going to take the elastic out of those panties, make myself a slingshot, come back here and break every damn window in this place!
4. Mumuni walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously upset.
"What's the matter, buddy ?" asks the bartender.
"It's a long story. I met this beautiful woman who invited me back home. We tripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and were just about to make love when her goddamned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the edge by my fingernails without any clothes on!''
''Gee, that's tough!'' commiserated the bartender. ''Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated.When her husband came into the room, he wanted to have sex with her -- but he had to piss first. And the lazy son of a b*tch pissed out the window right onto my head! "
''Yeech! No wonder you're in a lousy mood."
''Yeah, but I haven't told you what really really made me mad. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished the husband tossed his condom out the window. And where does it land? On my goddamn forehead!''
''Damn, that really is a drag!''
''Oh, I'm not finished!See, what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. Turns out that their toilet was broken, so he stuck his a55 out of the window and let loose right on myhead!''
''That would sure mess up my day."
''Yeah, yeah, yeah, but do you know what REALLY REALLY REALLY pissed me off ?
When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!'' lol
