Relationship columnist, Miss B. Haved says having an emotionally needy boyfriend could be one of the worst things ever.
She
writes, "the guy you're dating was so funny and quirky when you first
started hanging out, and now he's just… what's the word? Clingy? Needy?
Annoying? If you think you might be getting involved with an emotionally
needy boyfriend, here is what you need to prepare for."
Writing for SheKnows, Miss B. Haved explains the difficulty of having an emotionally needy person around you:
Distinguishing the emotionally needy: You
may be wondering if your new man-friend is emotionally needy, and you
don't want to overreact or be rash if he isn't. I have a solid frame of
reference for this, but the first hint is if you are questioning whether
or not you're involved with a Stage Five Cling-on, then you probably
are.
Here are a few subtle hints: If
he has to be constantly reassured and praised, you are probably
involved with a man who has been emotionally neglected and is looking to
you to make up for it. Does he ask you 20 times how much you like the
dinner he made, even though you've said, in as many languages as you
can, that it's awesome? Does he ask you if you like his new belt, every
time he puts it on? When you text him to tell him how much you love
(insert favorite hobby here), does he text back to ask if you love it
more than you love him? (I kid you not. I had a boyfriend that did
that.) If any of this is ringing a bell (or an alarm), what you've got
yourself, honey, is an emotionally needy boyfriend.
Is it annoying or cute?:
You may have figured out from my tone, that I found these personality
traits to be annoying. But that is because I realized I was not in love
with the guy. I have been in love, and I know that when that happens,
you find a guy's idiosyncrasies at a minimum cute and at a maximum
endearing. This begs the question, is being emotionally needy ever cute
or endearing? The answer probably lies in the degree to which your new
potential match is sucking the life-blood from you and if you suffer
from the same affliction.
What to do about it: Here
is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, ladies. You can ride
it out for a bit to see if his other qualities make up for having the
emotional package of a 4-year-old. You have to determine what your
threshold for neediness is. Some women need to be needed. I bolted once I
figured out that the guy I was seeing was an emotional preschooler. To
me, breastfeeding a neglectful mother's child is a young woman's game.
I'm in my 40s, and I've raised two kids, thank you very much. I have
neither the time nor the inclination to mother a grown man. Sure I feel
bad that some folks are carrying around tremendous voids, but as cold as
it sounds, that's not my problem. I'm all mothered out. My kids are
adults. If they need me, I'm here. If you're a gal who derives personal
worth from being needed (more power to you!), then this could be the
perfect situation for you. At my age, I need someone who doesn't need to
be so needy.
