Have u been wondering if your boyfriend only wants sex from
you..
I hope this helps!!!
1.
He only texts you after 1 a.m. It's a scientific fact that all booty calls
happen after 1 a.m. All those cars you see driving around after 12:59? People
out in the streets past 1? They're all on their way to a booty call.
2.
He gets frustrated when you invite him over to watch a movie and actually just
want to watch a movie. Most guys would be like, "Alright, cool.
If I can't have sex, I guess actually getting to watch the entirety of The Hunger
Games: Catching Fire is a pretty good consolation prize." But when you swat away
his thigh-climbing hand he's suddenly tired and has to go home.
3.
You never meet his friends. The less information you have about him, the
easier it is for him to ghost you. If you don't know who he hangs out with, or
where he lives, or what his last name is, he can disappear like a phantom into
the night. A phantom who banged you a bunch of times and then stopped answering
texts, which would make for a shittier Broadway play than the kind of phantom
that hangs out in operas. But a phantom nonetheless.
4.
He makes it really hard for you to sleep over. He never straight-up
says you have to leave (That wouldn't get him a next hookup!) but he always has
a "thing" really early the next morning. A "thing with
friends" or "a work thing" or "some family thing." You know families don't have
picnics at 5 a.m. though.
5.
He always hands you everything before you leave. Did you forget your
bra? Some lipstick? Your purse? A single bobby pin? If you never forget
anything there, you can never have an excuse to show up when he doesn't want
you to. If you tried to show up unsolicited anyway, you'd probably find the
place abandoned and boarded up, and some neighbor would tell you, "Why,
that place has been abandoned for years!" like some episode of Are You
Afraid of the Dark.
6.
You've never been on a real date. Dates are for men who consider themselves
boyfriends, not men who consider themselves fuck buddies.
7.
He always insists on splitting the cost of the post-coital pizza you ordered. If one of you doesn't
pay for the pizza, it can't be considered a date. He will follow #6 if it kills
him.
8.
He's "busy" whenever you text him about something personal or
emotional. Who has time to pause his game of Madden to talk to you about
things like how you feel? If your text about your grandma passing away isn't
attached to a sexy picture, he won't even bother opening it. Guys who just want
you for sex aren't going to spend time playing the boyfriend.
9.
He always tries to initiate sex when you hang out. An easy way to tell
the difference between guys who like having sex with you a lot and guys who only like having sex with
you is this: Think back to a time when the two of you were together but weren't
having sex for more than an hour. If you can't do that, he only wants you for
sex.
10.
The only thing he's ever bought you that could be considered romantic is a
vibrating cock ring. He was like, "Hey, I have a surprise for you," and you
could hear a faint vibration, and he dropped his pants and honestly expected
you to be pumped about it.
11.
Every conversation turns flirty/sexual. Every time you talk or
text, it immediately turns into a conversation about having sex. He's stopped
even trying to be witty about it. "Oh, you're at the grocery store right
now? I sure would like to have sex with you … at the grocery store ;-)"
12.
He texts you to meet up with a group, but wants to go back to your place/his
place as soon as you get there. You might think you're about to meet all of
his friends at some bar, but when you get there, he's already waiting outside
with his coat and some condoms.
13.
He only compliments your looks. He loves your ass but not your sense of humor.
You always look "hot" but never "gorgeous." If his
compliments are superficial at best and gross at worst, he's Just Not That
Into You Starring Justin Long and Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Aniston
and Ben Affleck and That Chick From Once Upon a Time.
14.
When he comes over, he heads straight for the bedroom. There's no loitering
in the kitchen or hanging out in the living room with this guy. He has
streamlined the process of sex-having by eliminating or minimizing the chitchat
or talk about your day. He's like the Philip Glass of booty calls (that was a
joke about the minimalist art movement that someone's dad will probably find
funny).
